I'm With Stephen King on This One

I'll start by warning that I'm not going to say anything you couldn't find on Yahoo answers here, so don't be waiting around for anything terribly brilliant or unique, I just want everyone to be absolutely clear here. I want there to be not even the whisper of a chance that I feel a certain way when I so strongly prescribe to another opinion.

The Twilight series is terrible.

Ok, ok. I know, not a revelation. But it's not just because I think Stephanie Meyer couldn't write well if someone dictated to her. It isn't that it's secretly some kind of veiled Mormon message. That I can live with. It's Bella and Edward. And even Jacob.

So first of all, Bella is Stephanie Meyer. She's the self-inserted author character. She's the useless, personality-less character who is just there for us to have somebody "normal" to identify with. She bumbles around. She's socially awkward. She doesn't get the best grades. She has no life outside of Edward.

It's the fact that Bella is a complete non-entity that drives me crazy. The lack of anything resembling personality, and her constant dependence on Edward and Jacob at every turn, her need to be coddled, protected, and saved, are just disgusting.

Now, my roommate and I have been debating whether or not, in the end, when she gets the power to protect her loved ones she's (finally!) a powerful character, or at least has something to contribute to the supermen around her. Personally, I hate the story and am hesitant to give it any room to argue, but my roommate makes a valid point that in the end (the very very end!) Bella does gain some power and possibly becomes more powerful than Edward or Jacob. It's a solid point, but I counter with the fact that up until that point Bella has been saved so many times (so so so many times) that it's a case of too little too late, as cliche and elementary as my argument style may be.

I don't even want to talk about the movies in this post, because honestly they're some of the funniest things I've ever seen. Edward literally says the words "You'd better hold on tight, spider monkey!" which make me want to die with both disgust and utter delight, because I have this picture in my mind of some old man in a black suit at a desk hearing this line and saying "Oh yeah, that's what the kids these days want to hear!"

But to the point, Twilight is not the next big thing. It's not a Harry Potter equivalent. And please, please don't start comparing it to Buffy. It's sexist. And not just that, it's badly written sexism that's targeted toward young girls around the world. I know I'm contributing nothing new, I just want to make sure we all understand each other.